


Drama Llama

by Piff



Series: The Dead and the Oblivious [2]
Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Authors Are Flaky, Dead Boys Are Cute, Gen, Little Girls Are Adorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 18:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1575212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piff/pseuds/Piff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack is TRYING to be subtle, but with his absented-minded author, drastic measures must be taken. Kozmotis just wants to see his daughter. Emily Jane thinks her daddy is silly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drama Llama

Koz settled into his comfy office chair with a cup of coffee and a contented sigh. A few moments later his laptop was up and running. 

That his background had been changed to that of an odd looking creature with a wooly body and an extremely long neck was barely noticed before a handful of writing programs were brought up.

Time to get to work! Planets to conquer, monsters to kill, snippy second-in-commands to discipline…

There was a llama in the middle of his chapter.

Not a REAL llama, it was the photo of a llama. Pasted right in the middle of Captain Black’s speech. 

It was a very nice white llama, but had a crown and cape drawn on, and the words DRAMA LAMA! written underneath.

“…huh.” Okay, so the speech could be toned down a bit, it WAS a bit wordy. Captain Black was not the most verbose of personalities so a great big speech was out of place.

Koz deleted the DRAMA LLAMA and started editing.

 

\------------------------

 

“Daddy!” Emily Jane flung herself into Kozmotis’ arms, making the man stagger back a bit under her weight and the weight of her well-packed backpack, but didn’t fall.

“Hey Princess! Did you have a good flight?”

Everyone had been so worried that Koz might forget to pick up his daughter. Not only had his editor called to remind him, not only had his wife called him and sent text messages, JACK had been setting alarms all over the house for an hourly countdown. And then unplugged every computer in the house.

You’d think no one trusted Kozmotis to remember his only and very beloved child!

But then these people also knew Koz as the man who’d forget to eat while drinking only coffee for days on end, and then be surprised when he fainted.

The man that you had to carefully clarify if it was 6 in the morning or 6 at night when he asked what time it was.

The man that never remembered that it had been A LONG TIME since he’d last gone grocery shopping, and frequently combined this with the habit of drinking straight out of the carton of orange juice.

Jack had awarded Kozmotis a certificate that said WORLD’S FLAKIEST FLAKE when the man stopped puking. It had gold stars and everything!

But all in all it was a very happy flake holding his cherished daughter and carrying her out of the airport; pink luggage in tow.

“You’re wearing it!” Emily Jane pulled on the gold chain around Koz’ neck, bringing the gold locket into view.

“Of course I am. Didn’t I promise to never take it off?” He ignored the dubious look from the seven year old.

Honestly.

He remembered the IMPORTANT things!

 

\--------------------------

 

Blaring out of the laptop was a cartoon voice babbling about mama llamas and little llamas and a duck. As the song played, pictures of llamas and oranges and a tree house flashed across the screen.

When the screen finally went black, Kos cautiously removed his fingers from his ears.

“I thought we talked about not using my laptop for your pranks!”

“Wasn’t a prank, so doesn’t count! If it was a prank it would have been llama porn.”

Koz rolled his eyes and reached for his coffee. He briefly considered what affects that horrible, horrible song could have had on the liquid, but he needed his coffee so down it went.

Cup set to the side, he cracked his fingers and got to work.

Jack, perched on top of the bookcase behind Kozmotis, scowled

 

\-----------------------------

 

The Princess was a very small girl and while she scowled at the contraption, she obediently climbed up to sit in the booster seat Koz had never bothered to remove from the car. 

He could see her in the mirror, and they grinned at each other.

The whole summer! Two and a half months! Just Kozmotis, Seraphina, and Ja- oh shit.

“Seraphina, remember when you had a friend named Daisy Chain?”

“The little girl only I could see and played House with me when you and Mommy were busy?”

“Yeah. That’s the one. Well… Daddy has an imaginary friend too, who helps him write his stories.”

“I thought you were done with the stories and was going to play with me all summer?”

“I am! I have lots of things planned for us to do. Just… don’t be alarmed if... I talk to someone. Not there. It’s just me, ahhh… playing.”

“Ok. Does Jack play too?” 

 

\-----------------------

 

There was a llama on the fridge.

Not a REAL llama, it was a picture of a llama. Actually, there were many pictures of llamas on the fridge, printed out on thin paper and stuck all over the fridge door with alphabet magnets.

Brown llamas and white llamas and baby llamas and llamas dressed in costumes and llamas shaved like large froofy poodles.

The baby llama wearing a princess cone-hat and sparkly pink blanket was pretty darn cute, but his favorite was fast becoming the llama dressed as Dracula. 

He was seeing llamas everywhere these days. On his laptop, on the fridge, there was a new llama-related calendar on the wall of his study, and he’d woken this morning to find his bed taken over by a handful of plushy llamas.

Llamas were taking over his home and Kozmotis had no idea why.

He’d asked Jack of course, but instead of answering the question the ghost just started singing the Llama Llama Song and got it stuck in Koz’ head for -hours-.

He had the feeling the chapter he’d been working on was going to be a bit... strange.

 

\-----------------------------

 

Koz pulled the car over to the side of the road, where he could comfortably turn around in his seat to look back on his daughter.

“Jack? How do you know about Jack? Do you know who Jack is?” 

He wasn’t THAT crazy was he? He’d met Jack AFTER he’d been abandoned by his wife. …hadn’t he?

“Jack is the boy who haunts the house because of his little sister and it’s her necklace I found and gave to you cause I wanted you to always remember me and not be lonely cause if you wear it then Jack will be with you.”

Emily Jane beamed at him with all the good cheer a seven year-old could contain. 

Jaw slowly dropping, Kozmotis stared at the tiny brunette for a long moment. Long enough for Emily Jane to get bored.

“Are we almost home? I wanna see the llamas!” 

 

\-------------------------------------------

 

Jack could see the very moment when Kozmotis realized why there had been llamas everywhere for the past two months. 

“No!”

“But Kooooooz, LOOK at it! It’s so little and fluffy and cute!”

“It is not ‘little’ it’s the size of a pony!”

“Ponies are little too!”

“I am not buying a llama!”

“…uhhh…”

“…goddammit.”

Koz should have put his foot down months ago. He should not have given Jack access to his credit cards but it had just made everything so much easier if Jack paid the bills because Koz never remembered until the power was shut off. Or there was nothing in the fridge but green milk and blackened carrots.

Easy as it had made his life, Kozmotis should have set limits long long before he became the proud owner of three baby llamas. Three pedigreed, adorably fluffy, baby llamas that were due to arrive in two weeks.

“Where are we going to PUT them? Who’s going to feed them?”

“Dude, you seriously didn’t notice when a group of strange men started to build a barn in your backyard?”

“Who did what? WHEN?”

“You seriously need to get out more.”

Kozmotis slowly bent over to rest his forehead against the smooth desk top.

**Author's Note:**

> LLAMA LLAMA DUCK!


End file.
